We're like a lot better than the average bears
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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