just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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