Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
