It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was confusing and full of hummus
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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