Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Someone shit on the floor
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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