6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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