She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
