The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
