THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
