Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
