She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
