Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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