if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I look better un-naked...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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