I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
