u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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