Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
