sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wish there were birth control emojis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
