I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize