She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
