dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
