Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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