If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
