I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
