I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
