I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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