is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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