Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
