Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
