Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
