He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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