Christians are straight up FREAKS
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
