he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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