Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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