Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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