Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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