wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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