It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
