she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
