dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
