We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
