You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
