Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
