I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
