but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
