Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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