You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
