Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
