no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
