can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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