I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
