Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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