Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
