Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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