If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
