We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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