I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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