can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
