I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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